your comfort zone
"The walls of your comfort zone are lovingly decorated with your lifelong collection of excuses." -Jen Sincero
It’s the truth, isn’t it? We all make excuses to stay in the safety of our comfort zones. The space that is familiar, predictable, and, seemingly, safe. In all reality we are not consciously at fault as our brains are wired for safety, not performance. We will pursue what is known versus what is unknown, any day. A little side note here, we stay there whether or not we are truly happy. (Well, ain’t that something?)
For me, I felt all of my excuses rise up during moments that life was pushing and asking me to grow and move toward healing and purpose.
When I was contemplating leaving my corporate job I was met with an array of excuses; we couldn’t survive on one income, we would lose our house, purchasing your own health insurance was impossible, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do next, I’m just going crazy from postpartum. The thought of change was terrifying, but I had felt an urgency toward this call I had been feeling, for YEARS, and I could NOT shake it any longer. I wasn’t happy and I KNEW I had to do something else. I just didn’t have a clue what that was, but I left the security of my job and decided to stay home with the kids. Because of this I took the first step toward choosing purpose.
When I found my spiritual teacher, my biggest excuse was that I didn’t have childcare to be able to make the weekly classes. It was true, and, yet, I somehow got the courage to ask my parents, aunts, siblings, husband, neighbors and friends to help me out. Asking for help was very much outside of my comfort zone, but the desire to attend classes outweighed the excuses. Because of this I found a community of women who truly saw me and helped me begin learning how to see myself more clearly.
When I decided to get my first coaching certificate, my biggest excuse was that we didn’t have the money and that I didn’t want to leave my kids for a weekend to fly solo to L.A.. My husband happily purchased my ticket with miles and had no problem taking care of the kids for the weekend. Because of this I became my first client and I started to feel like I was moving toward the direction of that calling.
When I decided to hire a coach and then get another coaching certification my biggest excuse was the amount of money it would cost and the time commitment it would take. My husband fully supported me in my decision and I took the money out of savings. I committed to showing up and figuring our family’s schedule week after week for 6 months to make it work. Because of this I began my healing journey and seeing evidence that this was where life was leading me.
All of these choice points in my life were met with massive resistance. If you could see the all-out war that was happening inside my head, you would probably die laughing. A lot of these excuses were legitimate concerns and worries, but I chose to meet that resistance with a greater force: My Spirit. In every instance, I chose myself when the pattern was to choose others. I chose to listen to my intuition, when the pattern was to doubt. I chose to have faith when the pattern was to worry. I chose to take responsibility for my life when the pattern was to shift blame. And I chose to walk in the direction of my own healing, purpose and fulfillment when the pattern was to run in the opposite direction. I am grateful, happier, freer, more aligned, and fulfilled because of it.
If I had listened to all of my excuses, I would probably still be in the same place I was 8 years ago. I still have a lot of excuses, but I’ve learned to question what they are attempting to protect and keep me from and this allows me to move forward with greater compassion and understanding for myself. When life leads me, I find that I am fully supported and all the excuses are met with solutions.
So what is your collection of excuses? And, if you’re honest with yourself, what are they attempting to keep or protect you from? What would be different in your life if you allowed yourself to step out of your comfort zone?
I'd love to know...
